Americans spend billions of dollars every year on self-help books promising to make them happier, healthier, more successful, and better loved. During this season of giving and resolutions, books are especially flying off the shelves or onto e-readers.

But when it comes to relationships, at least, most self-help books promise much more than they can deliver. Learning skills to better communicate and resolve conflict have very limited utility in improving our most important relationships.

My recently published article explains why learning communication and conflict resolution skills is not likely to benefit your most important relationship over the long term, and what kinds of “skills” are really needed to build a loving, satisfying relationship. Read my article here.